Welcome to Ken’s dream dollhouse

7 September 2019 @ 10:07pm; I am his prized Barbie girl: interactive and malleable. Neuroplasticity is effing ineffable.

19 September 2019 @ 10:09pm; holy shrink what a co-winky-dink. How’s that? Shit I’m sorry for evoking your spirit in the middle of a shit?

25 September 2019 @ 9:01pm; say something beautiful, say something that is a lie. There is nothing that is beautiful that we can see with our eyes. Our indiscretions always left us down.

17 October 2019 @ 2:42am; why do i hold this back here in my drafts? Why dont i press publish or just delete the post as it serves no apparent purpose? Because i dont know yet, but i must be keeping these notes for a reason, I just forget … and then i keep hearing things. My name. A voice. Not voices in my head. Just… am i dreaming, or weaving wavelengths and decoding the words receiving while drifting? I dunno, think this funnel down gives me a headache. And the tinnitus ringing it back again. But i dont have damaged drums, i just have ambrosial blood. Act naturally.

Whoa. Where was i. These experiences are fun. Extra tired, sleep deprivation, why am i afraid to sleep? Not really afraid, i just… they reset you in your sleep. And i dont want to forget. I did forget, i always do. I have the shittest memory for as long as i can remember. I always remember the wrong thing… i remember random triggers of trivium, but forget stuff if i dont directly benefit from it..? I dunno, everyone does that i thought. I thought the point of this place was to learn to put the self first. Why do i have to sacrifice myself again. I mean, i dont have to. But i am expected to. By whom? I dont remember. Someone. Jupiter apparently. Or so i say.

Oh! The dollhouse! Thays right! Dont let yourself be forgotten. Youll be overwritten and made into whoever or whatever fits the history they want to teach. If you dont make your own voice and story heard, they’ll take your voice, your characteristic trait and reputations, they already have your government identifiers. When you sleep or die or youll become another cog in their machine to fulfill any whatever thingy you dream. When you sleep.

I think thats why i dreamt those dreams i did last year. The transformation into a dragon, the rainforest walking tour, the repetition of these specific names and faces in combination… kris and sara. Dr strange and supergirl. And i was the kim ion the middle. Hah.

Chrysaram… crystallization… kripskeil. I dunno. Im hungry. Who the fuck is not coming??? Theyre waiting? Someone is waiting for someone to arrive.

Dont let it take your light, you’re a dark horse or a thief in the night. You gotta take your stand, remember not to break the waters.

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