I have been watching Lovecraft Country and my heart is tight in my chest. The language of Adam is a major thing in this show and my mind just went to a post I wrote (originally written in 2018, but I republished it here last year) called the fall of Adam.
And there’s also the thing about the book of names. Another unfinished series I started writing about although I only entered 3 names so far.
I have not felt the need to write, I have lacked the urgency to share the words that once flowed so freely from me. Instead I have been hiding myself from this world and have enjoyed the blissful emptiness of worldly ignorance. The cloudy and muddy haze of this conscious mortal realm…
My spirit stirs, my heart and head in conflict. How do I… I do not know…
If we were to use the film The Matrix as an example, I feel like the character Cypher. My spiritual awakening was mistaken as psychosis. It separated and isolated me from the ones that I loved. It tore my life apart and I have worked hard to send myself back to sleep in this stupor of the mundane.
Let’s just continue to wander aimlessly and remember with mixed emotion the wonders I remember writing but eventually erased. What is left is but remnants of half formed thoughts in haphazard disarray.
There is no logical nor reasoned order to my pieces of writing. They’re but stored and stashed in random folders, files, WordPress accounts. Most have been deleted. I do not know.